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Track of the Telltale Shoe

Reported by Trixie Delicious, NARIP’s Gal About Town

You can tell more about a record company’s fortunes by its parties than its press releases. Intrepid reporter and Gal About Town Mademoiselle Trixie tirelessly submits herself to test and re-test this theory. Going where few men dare to tread (and with good reason), Trixie sports among her credentials the sexiest and most progressive shoe collection in the galaxy. Often forced to don a cunning array of disguises to escape detection, your Trixie leaves no wicked turn un-stoned, no party unattended, no scandal uncovered.

In the past, I was a swirl of activity, dashing from party to post with hardly a moment to fasten my ankle straps. But the absence of decadent soirees does not bode well, in stark contrast to the past (heavy sigh). These are troubled times, my dears.

But enough of me, what about you? You can’t afford cable or eating out, you spend listless evenings at home in dingy underwear surfing the Internet wondering what to do with your tiny life. There, there, Trixie will comfort you, uplift and give you hope (however small). Happy times, they will return!

So let Trixie set an example of pluck and courage. With newsprint driven to extinction and parties thin on the ground, Trixie’s rogue reportage doesn’t command the large sums it used to, and she has had to ponder alternate cash-generating schemes to keep her in lavish style and sexy footwear. Take in the washing at 25 cents a pound, herd swine or re-purpose her cunning skills to become a criminal mastermind? This latter option is a logical fallback plan with her disguises and party crashing strategies honed to perfection.

And certainly, a silver tongue has always been the first line of defense for any decent spy and your Trixie employs the taut quote, the bon mot better than the rest. Her stiletto-to-the-spleen maneuver comes in handy on occasion, too.

But being a gentle soul and disinclined to stick people with hatpins or eject them from speeding cars, and learning from her fan mail that many a gal (and guy!) yearns to be like Trixie, we birthed a brilliant idea. Just in time for Valentine’s Day.

!!!!!! Trixie’s Sexie Merch !!!!!!

Dress like Trixie!

Easy as one-two-three, Trixie’s saucy and exciting new merch line comforts, uplifts and restores the tissues.

Suit every need. And you’ll need every suit (especially our skin-tight rubber one – in fact, buy two!).

So it is with great fanfare and pride that we present to you Trixie’s Sexie Merch Line (please rate your favorites):

Just in time for Valentine’s Day.
Order now while supplies last.  Monthly installments.

Thank you for your support of Trixie!

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